Ante Meridiem

I'm a much more effective human being before noon. I accomplished more in the 30 minutes before 7 this morning than I did in the 5 hours after 7 last night... and the night before that... and the night before that... and I don't know for sure, but probably the night before that too. Oddly enough, I wouldn't really call myself a morning person. I'm just too easily distracted. It's too easy for me to come home after work, sign on to aim, check my e-mail, do a little reading and then look up to see that it's pushing midnight and I need to hit the sack. There are much fewer distractions at the times that most of my friends would consider "ungodly". My house is quieter, my neighborhood is quieter, my instant messenger is quieter and even independent of all that- my mind is more focused. I'm fresher as a whole and I don't have all that mud from a long day clinging to my mind or my muscles. Everything just seems easier. Well... except for that whole getting out of bed thing.

For the last week or so I've been trying to get out of bed earlier and despite the fact that my conscious mind knows full well that this is exactly what I want to do, my subconscious (which, unfortunately is the part that has authority when I'm asleep) frequently refuses to cooperate. Yesterday I slept through three blaring alarm clocks and yesterday wasn't anywhere near the first time. I've tried going to bed earlier, I've tried scheduling things that I really want to do (like blogging, or working out) for early in the morning, I've tried setting several alarm clocks and scattering them around the room, but nothing seems to be working with any consistency. If somewhere in the back of my mind I know I don't have work within an hour (and sometimes even then) it takes an insane amount of effort to get me out of bed. That coupled with the fact that I eat too slowly to properly enjoy a bowl of cereal makes it significantly more difficult for me to accomplish things in the morning. But, I'm trying, and it's still working better than trying to get things done at night, so I guess I can't complain.

Consciously I hate being asleep. I always feel like I have so many things that I should, could or want to be doing in a day that throwing away 1/3 of those 24 hours seems completely ridiculous. I usually end my day by reluctantly passing out in front of my computer and begrudgingly rolling into my bed, just so 8 hours later I can reverse the process and just as begrudgingly roll out of it... or, as is frequently the case: not.

I just really need to get my life in order. I'm coming off a really long summer and I'm super excited to be back at work, but I've got a lot that I want to do and I haven't been doing it. I feel like I'm falling behind on a lot of my 6-12 month plans because I'm simply too disorganized and undisciplined. I know what I have to do, and, in my mind at least, I want to do them, I just can't stop myself from wasting my time doing other things that I don't really care about. It's a very frustrating feeling, but... updating my blog for the first time in months (and before 9am too!) is definitely a step in the right direction. Next step: laundry.