Easy Come, Easy Go

It recently came to my attention that the vast majority of tasks aren't flatly "easy". I never doubted that some people were "math people" and some people were "language people" and (god knows why) some people are even history people, but somehow I never extended that concept far enough to realize that a lot the things that come easily or naturally to me, are actually very difficult to a lot of the people around me. This realization has blown my mind.

Over the last few days some of my baseball buddies and I have been discussing performance problems that, according to my previous understanding of the world, could only possibly be the result of a lack of effort on the part of the transgressors. I felt that some of my teammates were under performing in an aspect of the game that was so basic, so simple and so easy (i.e. easy to me), that if they would simply try a little, then the problem would go away. I was willing to argue this point to the bitter end, confident that something had to be done about our teammates' lack of effort and commitment. Then one of my teammates said something that broke my brain a little. He said "but, what if they are trying?" He had only broken my brain a little though, so of course I responded, "but they're not!" So then he broke my brain a little bit more. He said, get this: "but what if they are?" That time it clicked. My eyes widened and I sat there stunned, silenced and kind of embarrassed. The possibility that this particular aspect of the game might be difficult to someone had literally never even occurred to me. I don't know how... I don't know why... but it never passed through my mind as even a hypothetical explanation for the problems we were having. I was more than just a little embarrassed.

I would consider myself a very logical person. I generally think things through pretty rationally and given a little bit of time and someone to bounce ideas off of, I can usually come up with a pretty decent solution to most problems. My best friend is among the best students in the nation at debate. He is also a very logical person, consistently able to reason things out and explain ideas in a very rational way. One of my favorite things to do is to sit down with him and just talk, discussing or debating whatever it is that's caught our attention at that moment. The last time he was in town we did this for several (roughly 8) straight hours much to the chagrin of our mutual friends who would've preferred to go to sleep before 5 in the morning. On the opposite end of the spectrum is a group of people that has always baffled and frustrated me: people who aren't as good at figuring things out and have a hard time explaining things in detail. For as long as I can remember, I've gotten so frustrated when debating with these people because I always felt that they weren't understanding what I was saying (or expressing what they wanted to say) simply because they weren't trying. Just like with baseball, the process came so naturally to me that I had it locked in my mind as something that was "easy" to do and that there was no explanation for someone not being able to do it. Looking back now, it's actually quite humorous how upset I would get in these types of situations.

As of just today, my eyes have been opened. I'm seeing the world, the people in it, and the things that they do in a whole new light. I'm coming to grasp with the fact that, just because I'm good at something, doesn't mean it's easy and, even more shockingly, just because I'm bad at something doesn't mean it's hard, but rather that we all have different skills and talents and that the key to success is working with others to make the most of all of our strengths. What's funny is that now that I write it down, it really doesn't seem like much of a revelation, but it blew my mind just the same. Just because it may seem simple and basic to you... well... I think you get it. :)

Playing to Win

Yesterday at baseball a teammate and I got into it over a difference in play style. He felt that I was playing too aggressively on defense, causing mistakes, unnecessarily surrendering bases and in turn surrendering extra runs. Due to the nature of arguments, I thought he was playing too conservatively, was scared to make the big plays and was therefore surrendering extra bases and in turn surrendering extra runs. After barking at each other for a minute or so I huffed off to prepare for my at-bat and thought angrily to myself, "you have to play to win- you can't just play to not lose." And that's when it hit me like a high and tight fastball.

It's a philosophy that I've used in my gaming/sporting life for several years but, until recently, haven't applied to my lifestyle in the real world. It's the idea that you can't just wait for opportunities to fall in your lap. You can't count on opponents to make mistakes or others to open doors for you. In the sports world they say that that isn't the way you win. In the real world, they say that that isn't the way you succeed. For years, I've been hoping and wanting and waiting for someone or something to make life easy for me. I've been waiting for the perfect job to fall in my lap, I've been hoping for a great school to show interest in me and I've been expecting my dream girl to walk over and ask me out. I've been ultra-apathetic, passive and backwards towards the important aspects of my life while every weekend going out and doing it the right way (the aggressive way) for things that are just for fun and don't really matter. Well... I've pretty much had enough of that.

The friend that I was arguing with yesterday was right about something. Being aggressive does cause mistakes. I did fire a ball about 15 feet over our first baseman's head on a pickoff play, we did concede some extra bases by throwing to home when the safe play was to throw to second and we did have a handful of our base runners thrown out going for extra bases, but you know what? These are the kinds of mistakes that you can learn from. These are the kinds of mistakes that show you what you can, can't or have to do differently next time. These are the kinds of mistakes that help you grow. These are the kind of mistakes that help a beginner or intermediate player become an excellent player. There's nothing to learn from a conservative mistake as, most of the time, a conservative mistake isn't even doing something "wrong". It's doing the safe thing. I don't think anyone ever got famous by doing the safe thing.

I can't live scared anymore. I can't live passively. I've realized that I can't succeed if my only hope is for success to happen to me. It doesn't work in baseball, football or chess and I can't imagine why it took me 24 years to realize that it doesn't work in life. For a quarter century I've been content living a life full of intermediate mistakes, a life of conservative, low-risk decisions. A life designed simply to not lose. Finally, I'm realizing that that's not going to cut it, that I need to get out there and make things happen. Finally, I'm living to win.